Silence the Saboteur: A Warrior's Guide to Conquering Negative Self-Talk

That voice! What voice? The one reading this sentence inside your head. Ah, yes, that one.

I’ve often thought, "Are you here to help me or hinder?" but the reality is that choice lies exactly with us to decide.

How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something that yesterday seemed like a ragingly cool idea and today you’ve found 1,000 reasons why it would be foolish to even consider undertaking?

"Get in your head, you’re dead." - Tony Robbins

My research indicates there is a consensus that as humans, we are hard-wired for a negative bias. Apparently, whilst we have evolved, aspects of our brain haven’t.

The amygdala, a small, almond-shaped part of your brain deep within the temporal lobe, is the part you speak of. It is our brain's ancient alarm system, a remnant of a time when every rustle in the bushes was a potential sabre-toothed tiger. This part of our brain is designed to keep us alive, and so everything has a potential risk and should be avoided at all costs. This is the source of the negativity bias—our minds are constantly scanning for threats, even when there are none.

In our modern lifestyle, that manifests as avoiding change, sticking to what you’ve experienced already, and, you know, generally staying in one’s comfort zone.

One of the reasons I believe we struggle to make positive and impactful change in our lives is because the voice inside our heads is working super hard to keep us small. Often not deliberately, in fairness, but that hangover from our early ancestors.

Change represents risk, the unknown. Millennia ago, this aspect of being human would enable our species to survive above all others and climb to the top of the animal kingdom. Today, the greater danger seems to be the potential to embarrass ourselves; the opportunity to be vulnerable in pursuit of new knowledge or skills is too overwhelming for that Neanderthal part of our brain.

Words are powerful, and what we say to ourselves matters greatly. In fact, it matters so much that what we say becomes reality.

"If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

As did our own master, Gichin Funakoshi. He taught us that "karate begins and ends with courtesy." This is a profound truth. It is not just about bowing to others, but about showing courtesy to your own spirit, your own potential. To talk to yourself with respect and kindness is the first step to living a life of purpose.

My personal experiences of negative bias that have become a tough reality…

Humans are extraordinarily capable of anything. Looking back through history will affirm that in an instant. Each of us has the ability within us to live a magnificent life. We are more capable than we ever give ourselves the grace to believe, and yet so many of us play this one life we have small.

Why? Because we do not tame the inner voice. We do not learn to master our thoughts.

Taming the Inner Chatter

To combat the negative chatter inside your head, here are my top three hacks:

Acknowledge and Separate: When the negative voice speaks, do not fight it. That is like fighting the tide. Instead, simply say to yourself, "Ah, there's my amygdala again, trying to keep me safe." By giving it a name and a function, you separate yourself from the thought. You are not the thought; you are the one observing the thought. This simple act of observation robs the chatter of its power.

The 3-Count Rule: When you find yourself hesitating on a good idea—to introduce yourself, to start a new project, to try a new class—do not allow time for the negative voice to build its case. Count 3, 2, 1, and then take action. Like a punch, swift and decisive, this method bypasses the overthinking mind and engages your body. Action precedes motivation, not the other way around.

The Bushido Affirmation: The ancient samurai lived by a code of honour - Bushido. They did not speak of what they were afraid of, but what they were committed to. Take a quiet moment each day to look into a mirror and speak your truth.

Not just what you hope to do, but who you are. "I am disciplined. I am brave. I am capable." Speak these words with the same conviction you would use to defend your family. Do not just say them, believe them, and they will become so.

The path is not easy, but it is one worth walking.

Osu!

Andy Mckechnie

Dojo Head TSKF Five Dock